WTF Fanfiction

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As an anon said, "Fanfiction by virgins E. L. James."
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Mighty Men Noodle'd

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October 15, 2014 3:50 am
Fandom: Star Wars Rebels/Steven Universe
“Chopper very much hated, so he fired red lasers from his optics and burned Hera’s nipples. The dark green skin was burned into a black crisp, leaving the bloody milk ducts, basically a red, porous surface akin to lotus pods or surinam toad backs. They quickly lactated, but the light and heat fermented the milk and turned it into cheese, each pore blocked with a delicious yellow colby cheese ball.”

Fandom: Star Wars Rebels/Steven Universe

“Chopper very much hated, so he fired red lasers from his optics and burned Hera’s nipples. The dark green skin was burned into a black crisp, leaving the bloody milk ducts, basically a red, porous surface akin to lotus pods or surinam toad backs. They quickly lactated, but the light and heat fermented the milk and turned it into cheese, each pore blocked with a delicious yellow colby cheese ball.”

May 29, 2014 7:10 pm
Fandoms: Star Wars
“After the jedi massacre by the Emperor and Lord Vader, Jar Jar was captured when he was hiding at Tatooine by Jabba’s bontyhunters. He was tortured for a week without rest, and after that time, his body got quartered and his penis was sealed inside a carbonite container. A little trophy Jabba had been saving, but his new business need some sacrifices to be made, so now he uses Jar Jar’s penis for a greater purpose.”

Fandoms: Star Wars

“After the jedi massacre by the Emperor and Lord Vader, Jar Jar was captured when he was hiding at Tatooine by Jabba’s bontyhunters. He was tortured for a week without rest, and after that time, his body got quartered and his penis was sealed inside a carbonite container. A little trophy Jabba had been saving, but his new business need some sacrifices to be made, so now he uses Jar Jar’s penis for a greater purpose.”

October 2, 2013 3:50 am
Fandom: Star Wars
"Anakin was growing more weary by the second. Beads of sweat ran down the side of his face. He assumed a calm, very Jedi-like, fascade and fought the urge to panic at Leia’s creepy-ness.
Meanwhile, Leia grew ever so close. She stopped abruptly and watched Anakin spaz slightly.
'Daddy, are you a vampire?'
Anakin’s blood froze.
'N-N-NO! W-WHY DO Y-Y-YOU ASK!' Anakin stuttered insanely.”

Fandom: Star Wars

"Anakin was growing more weary by the second. Beads of sweat ran down the side of his face. He assumed a calm, very Jedi-like, fascade and fought the urge to panic at Leia’s creepy-ness.

Meanwhile, Leia grew ever so close. She stopped abruptly and watched Anakin spaz slightly.

'Daddy, are you a vampire?'

Anakin’s blood froze.

'N-N-NO! W-WHY DO Y-Y-YOU ASK!' Anakin stuttered insanely.”

November 24, 2012 7:10 pm
Fandom: Star Wars
"She discovered that Jedi Master Yoda himself, after 800 years of NO SEXY TIME, was a frequent visitor to the Coruscant fetish houses, even going so far as to have is own personal ‘kink’ (he found that penetrating Twi’lek vaginas with his ears gave him the most bizarre sensation)."

Fandom: Star Wars

"She discovered that Jedi Master Yoda himself, after 800 years of NO SEXY TIME, was a frequent visitor to the Coruscant fetish houses, even going so far as to have is own personal ‘kink’ (he found that penetrating Twi’lek vaginas with his ears gave him the most bizarre sensation)."

August 28, 2012 7:29 am
Fandom: Star Wars
"Leia was just a little bit kinky and had never quite got over Luke being her brother, which made everything more interesting."

Fandom: Star Wars

"Leia was just a little bit kinky and had never quite got over Luke being her brother, which made everything more interesting."

August 27, 2012 11:30 am
Fandom: Star Wars
"She trembled against him as fingers randomly trailed lower to her more sensitive playground."

Fandom: Star Wars

"She trembled against him as fingers randomly trailed lower to her more sensitive playground."

June 9, 2012 11:27 am
Fandom: Star Wars
"anakin:so you saying i can have bear and do crazy shit
yoda:no bear is not good does not get you drunk drink tequila then it is ok”

Fandom: Star Wars

"anakin:so you saying i can have bear and do crazy shit

yoda:no bear is not good does not get you drunk drink tequila then it is ok”

May 14, 2012 3:51 am
Fandom: Star Wars
“‘Ughhaa!’ Luke awakens in a cold sweat with a boner that would be envied by a Gundar.”

Fandom: Star Wars

“‘Ughhaa!’ Luke awakens in a cold sweat with a boner that would be envied by a Gundar.”

May 7, 2012 2:38 pm
Fandom: Star Wars (HanxLuke)
“‘Force!’ Luke could barely look at his own image in the mirror. It was too embarrassing. The fluffy thing between his legs seemed monstrously big, and it hugged his member painfully tight. I’m sorry Han, but we’ll have to make do without this!
He started to undress in a hurry and inadvertedly touched a diminutive button in the costume.
'AAAAAAAHHHHHH!'
The fluffy thing started to vibrate.”

Fandom: Star Wars (HanxLuke)

“‘Force!’ Luke could barely look at his own image in the mirror. It was too embarrassing. The fluffy thing between his legs seemed monstrously big, and it hugged his member painfully tight. I’m sorry Han, but we’ll have to make do without this!

He started to undress in a hurry and inadvertedly touched a diminutive button in the costume.

'AAAAAAAHHHHHH!'

The fluffy thing started to vibrate.”

May 1, 2012 1:33 pm
Fandom: Star Wars (HanxLuke)
"Mmm…" Luke nuzzled Han’s neck. "I’m sore all over and I don’t think I’ll be able to walk right for the next days, but it’s no big deal!"

Fandom: Star Wars (HanxLuke)

"Mmm…" Luke nuzzled Han’s neck. "I’m sore all over and I don’t think I’ll be able to walk right for the next days, but it’s no big deal!"