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As an anon said, "Fanfiction by virgins E. L. James."
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Mighty Men Noodle'd
Icon by dreaminfantasys
””Charlotte you filthy platypus” Said the OMG part of my brain.”
“As I took of my striped nightdress I spotted a few drops of blood on it. That was a little bit strange because I did not have vagina on my arm did I?”