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Mighty Men Noodle'd

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April 28, 2012 12:10 am

Words Used to Describe Genitals

So at one point someone suggested we start a list of words used in fanfiction to describe genitals. After a particularly great Twilight fic was submitted, I decided to start that list, and Im providing what the phrase is describing. It will be updated as more words and phrases are found. And feel free to submit ones you’ve heard :3

Also check out the lube list!

  • Penis
  1. Throbbing manliness
  2. Rigidness
  3. Ultimate expression of manness
  4. Pocket rocket
  5. Throbbing accumulation of rigid masculinity
  6. One-eyed snake
  7. Formerly caged viper
  8. Mighty sword of Eros
  9. Lance of love
  10. Holy wand of man juice
  11. Throbbing giggle stick
  12. Pulsing manmeat
  13. Glossy rod of muscle and blood
  14. Fuck stem
  15. Organ
  16. Engorged staff
  17. Hungry dragon
  18. Cherry splitter
  19. Purple headed warrior
  20. Blaine-meat (Blaine’s penis from Glee)
  21. Holy wand
  22. Throbbing meat wand
  23. Rippling/burning sausage
  24. Pants weasel
  25. Prince Everhard of the Netherlands
  26. Doggy lipstick
  27. Mayonnaise cannon
  28. Wand of Penetration
  29. Venom cock
  30. Organic crotch gun
  31. Purple headed yogurt squirter
  32. Throbbing lavender man-fruit thing
  33. Sperm shooter
  34. Husband’s bulge (Cabin in the woods. Thanks JOSS WHEDON)
  35. Bacon torpedo
  36. Gristle missile
  37. Dark spire (tentabulge)
  38. Mauve avenger
  39. Tantalizingly tree-trunk-girthed Soviet missile
  40. MIGHTY MAN NOODLE
  41. Slipper sex sceptre
  42. Sugar quill
  43. Kryptonian meat
  44. Meager meat pole
  45. Carriage
  46. Giant sausage
  47. Hairy wolf dingaling
  48. Ninja growing rod
  49. Pilgrim’s staff
  50. Silent flute
  51. Pike of pleasure
  52. Nimrod the mighty hunter
  53. His majesty in purple cap
  54. Beloved guest
  55. Pleasure pivot
  56. Gargantuan blue fire hydrant of a cock
  57. Love sausage
  58. Horrible wet mushroom
  59. Man root
  60. Sword
  61. Bulging soldier boy
  62. Throbbing stick of pleasure
  63. The thing that looks like an exclamation point
  64. Stump
  65. Rockhard fucktool
  66. Fishing pole (penis/finger?)
  67. Long pale rod
  68. Cherry assassin
  69. Communism stick
  70. Ivory hardness
  71. Turgid member
  72. Batter blaster
  73. Great silky spearhead of his desire (From The King’s Men by Christian Fall aka Mark Gatiss)
  74. Meat missile
  75. Beef bazooka
  76. Purple headed womb groom
  77. Leaking crown
  78. Crimson bird
  79. The monk with the big hood
  80. Nephrite stem
  81. Brave warrior of distant hills
  82. Flaccid love truncheon
  83. Temptation wand
  84. Smooth lust-snake
  85. Burrito
  86. Flaming man-rod
  87. Dragonhood
  88. Hardened arousal
  89. Love wand
  90. Giant man-hood
  91. Stick of miracles
  92. Spear
  93. Muatra
  94. Man-carrot
  95. DNA Rifle
  96. Secret lollipop
  97. God’s pinky finger
  98. Life muscle
  99. Sushi love roll
  100. One-eye wonder worm
  101. Schlongdoodle
  102. (Naked) spam porpoise
  103. Throbbing meat truncheon
  104. Crotch-dachsund
  105. Twinkie (small penis)
  106. Spam blade
  107. Mighty lust limb
  108. Mighty thundercock
  109. Lightning rod
  110. Magnetic pillar
  111. The South Pole
  112. The giraffe neck
  113. Ladyfinger
  114. Shell-shedding slug of affection
  115. Curvaceous hammer of lust
  116. Thingie
  117. You-know-what
  118. Divine rods (multiple male genitalia)
  119. Raging fuck missile
  120. Ewan’s/___’s lightsaber (only applicable to Ewan McGregor or Star Wars fandom in general)
  121. Pink, stiff flobberworm
  122. Raging boner
  123. Big, floppy donkey dick
  124. One-eyed wonder weasel
  125. Love gun
  126. Heat seeking moisture missile
  127. Tube flute
  128. Meat whistle
  129. Slendick (Slenderman fic)
  130. Love muscle
  131. Dingy lingy
  132. Manly platypus penis (Phineas & Ferb)
  133. Rainbow Stick
  134. Bushel of tentacles (Homestuck)
  135. Midnight meat train
  136. Thick manhood
  137. Magical broom
  138. Masculine popsicle
  139. Platoon of fuckton
  140. Letter Y
  141. Tree log of a cock
  142. Yogurt cannon
  143. Throbbing mass
  144. Bitchmaker
  145. Warhammer
  146. Man beacon/Beacon of Man-ness
  147. Puking pickle
  148. Tonsil tickler
  149. Rainbow dasher
  150. (100%) All-beef thermometer
  151. Pleasure weapon
  152. Love club
  153. Wank-wank sack bag
  154. Whack-the-Kass Stick (Neopets)
  155. Heated rod
  156. Metallicrotch
  157. Hyper weapon
  158. Coke bottle cock
  159. The Teen’s Pride
  160. Captain Thongpounder
  161. Bloddy thrill drill from beyond the grave
  162. Thor’s hammer
  163. Thick half-pounder anaconda from space
  164. Throbbing purple spear of destiny
  165. Chivalric auger-headed gut wrench
  166. Lord Ass-burglar the magnificent
  167. Tyrell the albine cave dweller
  168. Flaming satellite of love
  169. Hellenic crusader Saint Gregory
  170. King Ypres the Sixth
  171. Hallidoric the Radical
  172. 'Nilla Spooge
  173. Murkosh the Avenger
  174. Throat spackler
  175. Mighty thrill drill of chills
  176. Vanilla spunk
  177. Sir Gallosh the Mighty
  178. Hellfire - Bloody lord of the Underworld
  179. Skyward Sword
  180. Rigid lust thermometer
  181. Bologna pony
  182. Love tool
  183. Sacagawea
  184. Baby anaconda
  185. Diego the Explorer
  186. Gyrados’s Bubblebeam
  187. Pinnochio’s Nose
  188. The Cat Killer
  189. Master Spelunker
  190. Rigid Anteater
  191. Horn of Gondor
  192. Colossal fuck cannon
  193. Pickle
  194. Hot rod
  195. Sperminator
  196. Reawakened dragon
  197. Pork sword
  198. Fifth Dragonair
  199. Weeping cock
  200. Throbbing member
  201. Rod of muscle and blood
  202. Sonic Screwdriver
  203. Rock-Python
  204. Hot Stark Rod
  205. DNA wand
  206. Magical pregnant weapon
  207. Serpentine
  208. Mini-Balto (Balto fic)
  209. Tumescent hot rod
  210. Love pencil
  211. Meatsnake
  212. Disco stick
  213. Cockness Monster
  214. Beef truncheon
  215. Wolf
  216. Thick straw
  217. Man matter
  218. Pleasure popsicle
  219. Peenie weenie
  220. Spike
  221. Plug
  222. Cord
  223. Trouser snake
  224. Sour apple blow pop
  225. Tackle
  226. Golden temple tower
  227. Mjolnir
  228. Spunktrumpet
  229. Love hose
  230. Kaptain Kielbasa
  231. The Batmobile
  232. Projectile Dachshund
  233. Stick (originally, ‘stick and bags’)
  234. The thickest oak tree in the forests of dickland
  235. Orange
  236. Male organism
  237. Banana tree
  238. Dickle dackle
  239. Nubby kitten prick
  240. Slobbering dog cock
  241. Floppy ursine rod
  242. Vlad the Imapler
  243. Cum painter
  244. Throbbing equine womanrod
  245. Elven pleasure spear
  246. Girthy
  247. Mismatched fucksticks
  248. Frick frack pack
  249. Hidden snake
  250. 36 inch vengeance cannon
  251. Pointed prick
  252. Puppy pecker
  253. Equine prick
  254. Stallion prick
  255. Nubby shaft
  256. Perverse pecker
  257. Corrupted/cursed/infernal/unholy/blighted cock
  258. Penile flora
  259. Undulating tentacle-dick
  260. Pussy prick
  261. "Barbed" dick
  262. Kitty pecker
  263. Purple prick
  264. Serpentine member/shaft/cock
  265. Bulbous snake-shaft
  266. Animalistic vixen-pricker
  267. Mythical mast
  268. Gloria
  269. Meat log
  270. Hardened dingly-diddly-dinga-long
  271. Man peen organ
  272. Dingle dangle
  273. Jigglywat
  274. Alien worm
  275. Rumplestiltskin
  276. Willy
  277. Venomous throbbing python of love
  278. Dangly thing
  279. Sweaty clam ham
  280. Italian sausage
  281. Fuck truck
  282. Happy thong schlong
  283. No-no carrot
  284. Angry meat men
  285. Throbbing sex tool
  286. Buttplug with a pulse
  287. Nick Fury’s super serpent penis
  288. Purple dark rod of steel
  289. Pleasure obelisk
  290. Tender mushroom
  291. Limp clump of meaty spaghetti
  292. Springy little schloinger
  293. Nine-inch baby-firing bazooka
  294. Purple vein cane
  295. 8-bit plastic love machine
  296. Throbbing man-milk dispenser
  297. Num-num nibbits
  298. Battering piece
  299. Arse-wedge
  300. Button-hole worker
  301. Family organ
  302. Cream stick
  303. Gaying instrument
  304. Lizard
  305. Old slimy
  306. Nervous cane
  307. Muscle of love
  308. Pendulous meat
  309. Silly string shooter
  310. Wicked one-eyed monster
  311. Dingily doo flytrap penetrator
  312. Kelp bunny
  313. Oozing erection
  314. Pulsating schlong
  315. Meat-pipe
  316. Glowing manhood
  317. Red-helmed warrior on his way to the Promised Land
  318. Koujackulate shooter (Koujack’s dick)
  319. Magical love popsicle (Loki’s Jotun dick)
  • Vagina
  1. Damp canal of lust
  2. Moist core
  3. Warp pipe
  4. Triangular area
  5. Tight cave (butt/vagina)
  6. Hearth
  7. Mayonnaise drain
  8. Poison hole
  9. Vertical Bacon Sandwich
  10. Man muncher (vagina?)
  11. Gates of Versailles
  12. Secret sweetness (From George R. R. Martin’s Clash of the Kings)
  13. Narrow alleyway (butt/vagina)
  14. Velvet underground (From the same fic as Penis #69. Also a great band according to a follower)
  15. Neglected sex
  16. Cave of lust
  17. Love wound
  18. Musty, dank channel
  19. Flesh mitten (courtesy of the Rizzoli & Isles fandom)
  20. Unholy cavity of carnal pleasure
  21. Cave with honey
  22. Slit of ecstasy
  23. Hoo haa
  24. Haynannernanners
  25. Whispering eye
  26. Bearded clam
  27. Libidinously slurping cakehole of love
  28. Sex
  29. Gash
  30. Axe wound
  31. Crumpet trumpet
  32. Pin cushion
  33. Love canal
  34. Cum dumpster
  35. Minge
  36. Cream tunnel
  37. Lady business (thefrogman)
  38. Baby hole (thefrogman)
  39. Panty hamster (thefrogman)
  40. Stimulus package (thefrogman)
  41. Chamber of Secrets (thefrogman)
  42. Bat cave (thefrogman)
  43. Corporate loophole (thefrogman)
  44. Shiny red orchid
  45. Letter O
  46. Cock cave
  47. Lady garden
  48. Gay man’s nemesis
  49. Feminine cove
  50. Love pocket
  51. Weeping folds
  52. Moist jungle
  53. Zillyhoo
  54. Buried treasure
  55. Nether
  56. Hidden/Secret sweetness
  57. Puddin’ cup
  58. Hairy checkbook
  59. Bitch wrinkle
  60. Love wallet
  61. Egg chamber
  62. Lady town
  63. Hairy spunk dungeon
  64. Mound of Venus
  65. Love taco
  66. Hobbit Hole
  67. Precious lambpits
  68. Sweet jellyboxes
  69. Fun ovens
  70. Cock garages
  71. Honey pots with submissive limbs
  72. Dark veil
  73. Dearest bodily flower
  74. Arena of combat
  75. Snatch
  76. Wizard’s sleeve
  77. Gap of Rohan
  78. Penis trap
  79. Jewelry box
  80. Pink lotus
  81. Locations
  82. Love clam
  83. Honey-slicked love tunnel
  84. Front-arse
  85. Vavle
  86. Port
  87. Snack shack
  88. Moist love well
  89. Itchy snatch
  90. Baby factory
  91. Tunnel of love
  92. Lower gardens
  93. Forbidden fruit
  94. Mossy banks
  95. Vagoo
  96. Penetration station
  97. Kitty
  98. The place where [character] put her tampons
  99. Myrish swamp
  100. Dick’s house
  101. Honeypot
  102. Hole of wonder (originally “whole of wonder”)
  103. Woman-tomato
  104. Mound of love pudding
  105. Windmill
  • Butt
  1. Butt flower
  2. Boy/man pussy
  3. Fudge factory
  4. Anal fortress
  5. Assular regions
  6. Chocolate starfish
  7. Poop cavern
  8. Puckered love cave
  9. Winking portal
  10. Chocolate hotdog hallway
  11. Fleshy globes
  12. Soft mounds
  13. Hershey Highway
  14. Missile silo
  15. Wreck’d-um
  16. (Twitching) rosebud
  17. The soft pucker of his sweetness
  18. Rusty bullet hole
  19. Clam cavern
  20. Clam-flavored pothole
  21. Balloon knot
  22. Rectal capsule
  23. Fart factory
  24. Ass womb (not sure if butt or???)
  25. Warm slippery caravan
  26. Catacombs of honey
  27. Velvety orifice
  28. Pucker
  29. Puny God’s Ass (Loki’s butt)
  • Other
  1. Soft mounds (boobs/butt)
  2. Love pillows (boobs)
  3. Fun bags (boobs)
  4. Spongy love mountains (boobs)
  5. Mitchell twins (boobs)
  6. Rumblr spheres (boobs)
  7. Voluminous pillows (boobs)
  8. Chest balls (boobs)
  9. Rose bushes (boobs)
  10. Hot princely milk (semen)
  11. Liquid love (semen)
  12. Magic toothpaste of love (semen)
  13. Baby batter (semen)
  14. Liquified pleasure (semen)
  15. Spaff (semen)
  16. Pale nectar (semen)
  17. Fruit (semen)
  18. Tadpole yogurt (semen)
  19. Fuckfluid (semen/fluid from fucking)
  20. Stallion custard (horse semen)
  21. Gargling my bacon (eating cum???)
  22. Thick female honey (Zoroark’s cum)
  23. Cage of consternation (pants)
  24. Cotton prison (pants)
  25. Love nubbin (clitoris)
  26. Love button (clitoris)
  27. Pleasure pearl (clitoris)
  28. Nubbin of desire (clitoris)
  29. Slick little pear (clitoris; Dragon Age fic)
  30. Tainted jewel (clitoris)
  31. Belly magic (sex)
  32. Bumpin’ uglies (sex)
  33. Horizontal monster mash (sex)
  34. Frickle frackle (sex)
  35. Boinking (sex)
  36. Making the double-backed beast (sex)
  37. Gut the love salmon and bake the skin loaf in my fuzzy oven (sex)
  38. Makin’ toast/makin’ Wonderbread toast (sex; Steam Powered Giraffe fandom)
  39. Dick assault (sex?)
  40. Comparing spears (oral sex)
  41. Orbs (balls)
  42. Love spuds (balls)
  43. Little men (balls)
  44. Family/Crown jewels (balls)
  45. Velvety weights (balls)
  46. Bags (balls; originally ‘stick and bags’)
  47. Crotchal vicinity (general crotch area; any gender)
  48. Restless manmeat (erection)
  49. Needs (boners)
  50. Bed of pubes (pubes)
  51. Frilly evening gown (female pubes)
  52. Pill of life denial (birth control)
  53. Minedigger (finger)
  54. Geronimo spot (G-spot)
  55. Calibrating the lightsaber (masturbating)
  56. Virginal kleenex (hymen)
  57. Penis explosion (orgasm)
  58. Dusky nibs (nipples)
  59. Lil’ nimples (nipples)
  60. Rosebuds (nipples)
  61. Mythical berry (nipples)
  62. Lush manfur (chest hair)
  63. Helicopter blades (labia)
  64. Tasty brown fun (poop)
  65. Harry’s cold cauldron (idk)
  66. Gasm chasm (idk)
  67. Down there (50 Shades of Gray)
  68. Future cherry picker (main female character’s name for her love interest)
  69. Skin-scarf (foreskin)
  • MIGHTY MAN NOODLE
  1. MIGHTY MAN NOODLE
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    OH MY GOD
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    OMG PLEASE READ
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    …….NOPE