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Mighty Men Noodle'd

April 28, 2012 12:10 am

Words Used to Describe Genitals

So at one point someone suggested we start a list of words used in fanfiction to describe genitals. After a particularly great Twilight fic was submitted, I decided to start that list, and Im providing what the phrase is describing. It will be updated as more words and phrases are found. And feel free to submit ones you’ve heard :3

  • Penis
  1. Throbbing manliness
  2. Rigidness
  3. Ultimate expression of manness
  4. Pocket rocket
  5. Throbbing accumulation of rigid masculinity
  6. One-eyed snake
  7. Formerly caged viper
  8. Mighty sword of Eros
  9. Lance of love
  10. Holy wand of man juice
  11. Throbbing giggle stick
  12. Pulsing manmeat
  13. Glossy rod of muscle and blood
  14. Fuck stem
  15. Organ
  16. Engorged staff
  17. Hungry dragon
  18. Cherry splitter
  19. Purple headed warrior
  20. Blaine-meat (Blaine’s penis from Glee)
  21. Holy wand
  22. Throbbing meat wand
  23. Rippling sausage
  24. Pants weasel
  25. Prince Everhard of the Netherlands
  26. Doggy lipstick
  27. Mayonnaise cannon
  28. Wand of Penetration
  29. Venom cock
  30. Organic crotch gun
  31. Purple headed yogurt squirter
  32. Throbbing lavender man-fruit thing
  33. Sperm shooter
  34. Husband’s bulge (Cabin in the woods. Thanks JOSS WHEDON)
  35. Bacon torpedo
  36. Gristle missile
  37. Dark spire (tentabulge)
  38. Mauve avenger
  39. Tantalizingly tree-trunk-girthed Soviet missile
  40. MIGHTY MAN NOODLE
  41. Slipper sex sceptre
  42. Sugar quill
  43. Kryptonian meat
  44. Meager meat pole
  45. Carriage
  46. Giant sausage
  47. Hairy wolf dingaling
  48. Ninja growing rod
  49. Pilgrim’s staff
  50. Silent flute
  51. Pike of pleasure
  52. Nimrod the mighty hunter
  53. His majesty in purple cap
  54. Beloved guest
  55. Pleasure pivot
  56. Gargantuan blue fire hydrant of a cock
  57. Love sausage
  58. Horrible wet mushroom
  59. Man root
  60. Sword
  61. Bulging soldier boy
  62. Throbbing stick of pleasure
  63. The thing that looks like an exclamation point
  64. Stump
  65. Rockhard fucktool
  66. Fishing pole (penis/finger?)
  67. Long pale rod
  68. Cherry assassin
  69. Tasty brown fun (poop? penis? The submission I saw this in talks about feces)
  70. Communism stick
  71. Ivory hardness
  72. Turgid member
  73. Batter blaster
  74. Great silky spearhead of his desire (From The King’s Men by Christian Fall aka Mark Gatiss)
  75. Meat missile
  76. Beef bazooka
  77. Purple headed womb groom
  78. Leaking crown
  79. Crimson bird
  80. The monk with the big hood
  81. Nephrite stem
  82. Brave warrior of distant hills
  83. Flaccid love truncheon
  84. Temptation wand
  85. Smooth lust-snake
  86. Burrito
  87. Flaming man-rod
  88. Dragonhood
  89. Hardened arousal
  90. Love wand
  91. Giant man-hood
  92. Stick of miracles
  93. Spear
  94. Muatra
  95. Man-carrot
  96. DNA Rifle
  97. Secret lollipop
  98. God’s pinky finger
  99. Life muscle
  100. Sushi love roll
  101. One-eye wonder worm
  102. Schlongdoodle
  103. (Naked) spam porpoise
  104. Throbbing meat truncheon
  105. Crotch-dachsund
  106. Twinkie (small penis)
  107. Spam blade
  108. Mighty lust limb
  109. Mighty thundercock
  110. Lightning rod
  111. Magnetic pillar
  112. The South Pole
  113. The giraffe neck
  114. Ladyfinger
  115. Shell-shedding slug of affection
  116. Curvaceous hammer of lust
  117. Thingie
  118. You-know-what
  119. Divine rods (multiple male genitalia)
  120. Raging fuck missile
  121. Ewan’s/___’s lightsaber (only applicable to Ewan McGregor or Star Wars fandom in general)
  122. Pink, stiff flobberworm
  123. Raging boner
  124. Big, floppy donkey dick
  125. One-eyed wonder weasel
  126. Love gun
  127. Heat seeking moisture missile
  128. Tube flute
  129. Meat whistle
  130. Slendick (Slenderman fic)
  131. Love muscle
  132. Dingy lingy
  133. Manly platypus penis (Phineas & Ferb)
  134. Rainbow Stick
  135. Bushel of tentacles (Homestuck)
  136. Midnight meat train
  137. Thick manhood
  138. Magical broom
  139. Masculine popsicle
  140. Platoon of fuckton
  141. Letter Y
  142. Tree log of a cock
  143. Yogurt cannon
  144. Throbbing mass
  145. Bitchmaker
  146. Warhammer
  147. Man beacon/Beacon of Man-ness (Thanks, Lizzie)
  148. Puking pickle
  149. Tonsil tickler
  150. Rainbow dasher
  151. (100%) All-beef thermometer
  152. Pleasure weapon
  153. Love club
  154. Wank-wank sack bag
  155. Whack-the-Kass Stick (Neopets)
  156. Heated rod
  157. Metallicrotch
  158. Hyper weapon
  159. Coke bottle cock
  160. The Teen’s Pride
  161. Captain Thongpounder
  162. Bloddy thrill drill from beyond the grave
  163. Thor’s hammer
  164. Thick half-pounder anaconda from space
  165. Throbbing purple spear of destiny
  166. Chivalric auger-headed gut wrench
  167. Lord Ass-burglar the magnificent
  168. Tyrell the albine cave dweller
  169. Flaming satellite of love
  170. Hellenic crusader Saint Gregory
  171. King Ypres the Sixth
  172. Hallidoric the Radical
  173. ‘Nilla Spooge
  174. Murkosh the Avenger
  175. Throat spackler
  176. Mighty thrill drill of chills
  177. Vanilla spunk
  178. Sir Gallosh the Mighty
  179. Hellfire - Bloody lord of the Underworld
  180. Skyward Sword
  181. Rigid lust thermometer
  182. Bologna pony
  183. Love tool
  184. Sacagawea
  185. Baby anaconda
  186. Diego the Explorer
  187. Gyrados’s Bubblebeam
  188. Pinnochio’s Nose
  189. The Cat Killer
  190. Master Spelunker
  191. Rigid Anteater
  192. Horn of Gondor
  193. Colossal fuck cannon
  194. Pickle
  195. Hot rod
  196. Sperminator
  197. Reawakened dragon
  198. Pork sword
  199. Fifth Dragonair
  200. Weeping cock
  201. Throbbing member
  202. Rod of muscle and blood
  203. Sonic Screwdriver
  204. Rock-Python
  205. Hot Stark Rod
  206. DNA wand
  207. Magical pregnant weapon
  208. Serpentine
  209. Mini-Balto (Balto fic)
  210. Tumescent hot rod
  211. Love pencil
  212. Meatsnake
  213. Disco stick
  214. Cockness Monster
  215. Beef truncheon
  • Vagina
  1. Damp canal of lust
  2. Moist core
  3. Warp pipe
  4. Triangular area
  5. Tight cave (butt/vagina)
  6. Hearth
  7. Mayonnaise drain
  8. Poison hole
  9. Vertical Bacon Sandwich
  10. Man muncher (vagina?)
  11. Gates of Versailles
  12. Secret sweetness (From George R. R. Martin’s Clash of the Kings)
  13. Narrow alleyway (butt/vagina)
  14. Velvet underground (From the same fic as Penis #69. Also a great band according to a follower)
  15. Neglected sex
  16. Cave of lust
  17. Love wound
  18. Musty, dank channel
  19. Flesh mitten (courtesy of the Rizzoli & Isles fandom)
  20. Unholy cavity of carnal pleasure
  21. Cave with honey
  22. Slit of ecstasy
  23. Hoo haa
  24. Haynannernanners
  25. Whispering eye
  26. Bearded clam
  27. Libidinously slurping cakehole of love
  28. Sex
  29. Gash
  30. Axe wound
  31. Crumpet trumpet
  32. Pin cushion
  33. Love canal
  34. Cum dumpster
  35. Minge
  36. Cream tunnel
  37. Lady business (thefrogman)
  38. Baby hole (thefrogman)
  39. Panty hamster (thefrogman)
  40. Stimulus package (thefrogman)
  41. Chamber of Secrets (thefrogman)
  42. Bat cave (thefrogman)
  43. Corporate loophole (thefrogman)
  44. Shiny red orchid
  45. Letter O
  46. Cock cave
  47. Lady garden
  48. Gay man’s nemesis
  49. Feminine cove
  50. Love pocket
  51. Weeping folds
  52. Moist jungle
  53. Zillyhoo
  54. Buried treasure
  55. Nether
  56. Hidden/Secret sweetness
  57. Puddin’ cup
  58. Hairy checkbook
  59. Bitch wrinkle
  60. Love wallet
  61. Egg chamber
  62. Lady town
  63. Hairy spunk dungeon
  64. Mound of Venus
  65. Love taco
  66. Hobbit Hole
  67. Precious lambpits
  68. Sweet jellyboxes
  69. Fun ovens
  70. Cock garages
  71. Honey pots with submissive limbs
  72. Dark veil
  73. Dearest bodily flower
  74. Arena of combat
  75. Snatch
  76. Wizard’s sleeve
  77. Gap of Rohan
  78. Penis trap
  79. Jewelry box
  80. Pink lotus
  81. Locations
  82. Love clam
  83. Honey-slicked love tunnel
  • Butt
  1. Butt flower
  2. Boy pussy
  3. Fudge factory
  4. Anal fortress
  5. Assular regions
  6. Chocolate starfish
  7. Poop cavern
  8. Puckered love cave
  9. Winking portal
  10. Chocolate hotdog hallway
  11. Fleshy globes
  12. Soft mounds
  13. Hershey Highway
  14. Missile silo
  15. Wreck’d-um
  16. Twitching rosebud
  17. The soft pucker of his sweetness
  18. Rusty bullet hole
  19. Clam cavern
  20. Clam-flavored pothole
  21. Ass womb (not sure if butt or???)
  22. Puny God’s Ass (Loki’s butt)
  • Other
  1. Soft mounds (boobs/butt)
  2. Love pillows (boobs)
  3. Fun bags (boobs)
  4. Spongy love mountains (boobs)
  5. Mitchell twins (boobs)
  6. Rumblr spheres (boobs)
  7. Voluminous pillows (boobs)
  8. Chest balls (boobs)
  9. Hot princely milk (semen)
  10. Liquid love (semen)
  11. Magic toothpaste of love (semen)
  12. Baby batter (semen)
  13. Liquified pleasure (semen)
  14. Spaff (semen)
  15. Fuckfluid (semen/fluid from fucking)
  16. Stallion custard (horse semen)
  17. Cage of consternation (pants)
  18. Cotton prison (pants)
  19. Love nubbin (clitoris)
  20. Love button (clitoris)
  21. Pleasure pearl (clitoris)
  22. Belly magic (sex)
  23. Bumpin’ uglies (sex)
  24. Horizontal monster mash (sex)
  25. Makin’ toast/makin’ Wonderbread toast (sex; Steam Powered Giraffe fandom)
  26. Dick assault (sex?)
  27. Comparing spears (oral sex)
  28. Orbs (balls)
  29. Love spuds (balls)
  30. Crotchal vicinity (general crotch area; any gender)
  31. Restless manmeat (erection)
  32. Bed of pubes (pubes)
  33. Frilly evening gown (female pubes)
  34. Pill of life denial (birth control)
  35. Minedigger (finger)
  36. Geronimo spot (G-spot)
  37. Calibrating the lightsaber (masturbating)
  38. Virginal kleenex (hymen)
  39. Penis explosion (orgasm)
  40. Dusky nibs (nipples)
  41. Harry’s cold cauldron (idk)
  42. Gasm chasm (idk)
  43. Down there (50 Shades of Gray)
  44. Future cherry picker (main female character’s name for her love interest)
  • MIGHTY MAN NOODLE
  1. MIGHTY MAN NOODLE
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    MIGHTY MAN NOODLE
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