WTF Fanfiction

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Mighty Men Noodle'd

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October 14, 2014 7:10 pm
Fandom: Thomas the Tank Engine
“Thomas, on the other hand, simply thought Rosie was hot.
There was nothing else for it: she was absolutely incredible, and their love for each other was absolute. Rosie was perfect.
She was also gazing at him with such burning lust and longing in her eyes that it made Thomas weak-wheeled.”

Fandom: Thomas the Tank Engine

“Thomas, on the other hand, simply thought Rosie was hot.

There was nothing else for it: she was absolutely incredible, and their love for each other was absolute. Rosie was perfect.

She was also gazing at him with such burning lust and longing in her eyes that it made Thomas weak-wheeled.”

3:20 pm
Fandom: Supernatural
“Heck, Cas had even been married to a girl, once, come to think of it. Cas was straight, that was clear. Dean was straight too. They were both straight. Cas was straight, Dean was straight. Sam was straight, too. It was all pretty… well, straightforward, really: Cas was straight, Dean was straight, Sam was straight, Mac was straight, Roger was straight, pretty much every guy Dean had ever known personally was straight, the whole world suddenly seemed straight, and even all the cows they were driving past were probably straight.”

Fandom: Supernatural

“Heck, Cas had even been married to a girl, once, come to think of it. Cas was straight, that was clear. Dean was straight too. They were both straight. Cas was straight, Dean was straight. Sam was straight, too. It was all pretty… well, straightforward, really: Cas was straight, Dean was straight, Sam was straight, Mac was straight, Roger was straight, pretty much every guy Dean had ever known personally was straight, the whole world suddenly seemed straight, and even all the cows they were driving past were probably straight.”

11:30 am
Fandom: Harry Potter
"Zara-Jezebel was a Japanese Warrior-Ninja-Princess. At the age of 2 when her mother was killed she was taken in by the great Jackie Chan 
who was also a wizard and taught her the art of magic and telepathy and telekinesis. But when he was killed the Russian Mafia for making them look bad in one of his movies she to be sent to Hogwarts or elseher evil father would kill her because she swore to get revenge on him one day for banishing her aunt after her aunt swore to kill him for trying to kill Zara-Jezebel.”

Fandom: Harry Potter

"Zara-Jezebel was a Japanese Warrior-Ninja-Princess. At the age of 2 when her mother was killed she was taken in by the great Jackie Chan 

who was also a wizard and taught her the art of magic and telepathy and telekinesis. But when he was killed the Russian Mafia for making them look bad in one of his movies she to be sent to Hogwarts or else
her evil father would kill her because she swore to get revenge on him one day for banishing her aunt after her aunt swore to kill him for trying to kill Zara-Jezebel.”

7:40 am
Fandom: DRAMAtical Murder/Politics
"There the man was. The hair dresser the ex-presidential candidate had fallen for so much in such a short window of time. He was right there. The only things between he and Koujaku were the Denny’s window and the decently sized crowd.
And to both his pleasure and his dismay, Koujaku came toward the Denny’s.
Followed by the massive orb of pedestrians.”

Fandom: DRAMAtical Murder/Politics

"There the man was. The hair dresser the ex-presidential candidate had fallen for so much in such a short window of time. He was right there. The only things between he and Koujaku were the Denny’s window and the decently sized crowd.

And to both his pleasure and his dismay, Koujaku came toward the Denny’s.

Followed by the massive orb of pedestrians.

3:50 am
Fandom: Hetalia
“‘WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING AT SIX FOURTY FIVE IN THE FREAKING MORNING?’ he shouted. Italy smiled at his brother.
“‘I’m making PASTA!’ he smiled. Romano punched him in the face”

Fandom: Hetalia

“‘WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING AT SIX FOURTY FIVE IN THE FREAKING MORNING?’ he shouted. Italy smiled at his brother.

“‘I’m making PASTA!’ he smiled. Romano punched him in the face”

October 13, 2014 9:55 pm
Fandom: Hetalia
"Never before had the man made so many pancakes in one sitting before that night. No, currently surrounding his nice, electric, four-burner stove were mountains of pancakes. At least one hundred, in neat piles of ten and fifteen on various plates. And he still had batter left. So much batter. He figured he’d use up the boxes of batter he had left, and boy did he have a lot. He regretted this already. The smell of the pancakes were so strong now. So potent. So tiring. So sickening. So sickeningly… arousing.
Only once before in his life had he been physically aroused by the scent of pancakes. That was when he was young, and he had an embarrassing wet dream about Mrs Buttersworth. And it took place on a pancake bed….”

Fandom: Hetalia

"Never before had the man made so many pancakes in one sitting before that night. No, currently surrounding his nice, electric, four-burner stove were mountains of pancakes. At least one hundred, in neat piles of ten and fifteen on various plates. And he still had batter left. So much batter. He figured he’d use up the boxes of batter he had left, and boy did he have a lot. He regretted this already. The smell of the pancakes were so strong now. So potent. So tiring. So sickening. So sickeningly… arousing.

Only once before in his life had he been physically aroused by the scent of pancakes. That was when he was young, and he had an embarrassing wet dream about Mrs Buttersworth. And it took place on a pancake bed….”

October 8, 2014 3:20 pm
Fandom: Lord of the Flies
"A few objected and others offered suggestions.
'We should have punishments for those who break the rules!'
'Yeah, we should have jail.'
'I believe in the Illuminati.’
'Wedgies for the rebels.'
'The all seeing eye is nigh.' (Foreshadowing).
'Shove his dick in the conch!'The last remark created more of a stir amongst the boys than the Illuminati.”

Fandom: Lord of the Flies

"A few objected and others offered suggestions.

'We should have punishments for those who break the rules!'

'Yeah, we should have jail.'

'I believe in the Illuminati.’

'Wedgies for the rebels.'

'The all seeing eye is nigh.' (Foreshadowing).

'Shove his dick in the conch!'

The last remark created more of a stir amongst the boys than the Illuminati.”

11:30 am
Fandom: Arthur
“‘B-but how! Ducks cannot engage in verbal communication.’
'Yes Brain, but you in your boundless superiority complex ego have greatly underestimated the capacities of others! Anseriformes have a greatly specialised nidopallium complex, ergo we can communicate telekinetically by rearranging your brain chemical reactions in order for you to understand us!'”

Fandom: Arthur

“‘B-but how! Ducks cannot engage in verbal communication.’

'Yes Brain, but you in your boundless superiority complex ego have greatly underestimated the capacities of others! Anseriformes have a greatly specialised nidopallium complex, ergo we can communicate telekinetically by rearranging your brain chemical reactions in order for you to understand us!'”

7:40 am
Fandom: Five Nights At Freddy’s
“Anyways, I decided to work at a pizzeria called Freedy Fazbear’s Pizza. I really didn’t want to, I just want to go away from civilisation and all awful things like the bullies - from which I have to old back my inner savagery and rage in order to not be arrested - and the mean preppy girls, but my parents forced me to do it, or else they would rape my sister. My parents are evil, they’re always bossy and mean and always slap and beat me up, I can only trust my sister but I’m afraid she’s being brainwashed into being their perfect media slut. So I relented, and went to get a job at the pizzeria. There an evil and ugly fat man with like three chins and blobs of carnicerous fat and pus looked at me. He was very intimidated by my masculinity, so he puffed up, even though that made his inner weakness show.”

Fandom: Five Nights At Freddy’s

“Anyways, I decided to work at a pizzeria called Freedy Fazbear’s Pizza. I really didn’t want to, I just want to go away from civilisation and all awful things like the bullies - from which I have to old back my inner savagery and rage in order to not be arrested - and the mean preppy girls, but my parents forced me to do it, or else they would rape my sister. My parents are evil, they’re always bossy and mean and always slap and beat me up, I can only trust my sister but I’m afraid she’s being brainwashed into being their perfect media slut. So I relented, and went to get a job at the pizzeria. There an evil and ugly fat man with like three chins and blobs of carnicerous fat and pus looked at me. He was very intimidated by my masculinity, so he puffed up, even though that made his inner weakness show.”

3:50 am
Fandom: Panic! at the Disco
“‘m WHUT IS THT BREDONE’ sHE SCRHETD RLLY LODLY ND SHE WAZ LOKGIN AT
A TATU
OV RYEN ROS
saruhb was in ters
'yY WUD U DO THT BRENDOJ' tha tatu waz ryanes fac nd it said 'i lub u ryen'”

Fandom: Panic! at the Disco

“‘m WHUT IS THT BREDONE’ sHE SCRHETD RLLY LODLY ND SHE WAZ LOKGIN AT

A TATU

OV RYEN ROS

saruhb was in ters

'yY WUD U DO THT BRENDOJ' tha tatu waz ryanes fac nd it said 'i lub u ryen'”