WTF Fanfiction

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Mighty Men Noodle'd

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September 29, 2014 3:50 am
Fandom: Attack on Titan
TW: Incest
"Boy, he’s glad he did. It was a message from his brother. Levi squirmed in his chair; he forgot to mention that his brother was also a golden Greek Adonis with a face molded by the Gods themselves, with scorching Caribbean eyes. Let’s not even get started on the toned muscles corded the once scrawny long limbs."

Fandom: Attack on Titan

TW: Incest

"Boy, he’s glad he did. It was a message from his brother. Levi squirmed in his chair; he forgot to mention that his brother was also a golden Greek Adonis with a face molded by the Gods themselves, with scorching Caribbean eyes. Let’s not even get started on the toned muscles corded the once scrawny long limbs."

September 28, 2014 7:10 pm
Fandom: Super Mario Bros./Donkey Kong
TW: Bestiality
"Princess Peach raised an eyebrow, ‘Two feet, you say? Twenty-four inches of gorilla cock, hmm?’
Mario grimaced and smacked the palm of his hand against his forehead. “Now she’sa done it! Now Princess Peach is gonna wanna fucka da gorilla!”
'You’re damn right I do!' Princess Peach exclaimed with a lecherous grin.”

Fandom: Super Mario Bros./Donkey Kong

TW: Bestiality

"Princess Peach raised an eyebrow, ‘Two feet, you say? Twenty-four inches of gorilla cock, hmm?’

Mario grimaced and smacked the palm of his hand against his forehead. “Now she’sa done it! Now Princess Peach is gonna wanna fucka da gorilla!”

'You’re damn right I do!' Princess Peach exclaimed with a lecherous grin.”

3:20 pm
Fandom: Super Mario Bros.
TW: Extreme Gore
“His other eye was tossed to join the other, his esophagus was torn with lungs in tow to be thrown just over the red koopa’s head, his barely beating heart crushed between his fingers and let slide down to rest on his intestines, the intestines themselves allowed to be pulled like a scarf out from their original position down to the floor, and testicles with the other sexual organs violently ripped off and presented as a cruelly made gift to his lover before dropping those to the floor too. The other koopa had long since spewed his coffee-blackened bile onto the floor, gripping his wounds and crying in failure and grieving as he did.”

Fandom: Super Mario Bros.

TW: Extreme Gore

“His other eye was tossed to join the other, his esophagus was torn with lungs in tow to be thrown just over the red koopa’s head, his barely beating heart crushed between his fingers and let slide down to rest on his intestines, the intestines themselves allowed to be pulled like a scarf out from their original position down to the floor, and testicles with the other sexual organs violently ripped off and presented as a cruelly made gift to his lover before dropping those to the floor too. The other koopa had long since spewed his coffee-blackened bile onto the floor, gripping his wounds and crying in failure and grieving as he did.”

2:12 pm
Fandom: Transformers Animated
“‘Me Grimlock not stupid. Me Grimlock already said that me have good nose. Me Grimlock can smell how you Truck-bot want clang-clang so badly.’ When the Prime had no reply to give him, he continued, lowering his voice into a seductive purr. ‘Truck-bot want clang-clang like me Grimlock. Let me Grimlock make clang-clang with you Truck-bot, and then me Grimlock promise to take you Truck-bot back to boat-thingy. It good deal, yes?’”

Fandom: Transformers Animated

“‘Me Grimlock not stupid. Me Grimlock already said that me have good nose. Me Grimlock can smell how you Truck-bot want clang-clang so badly.’ When the Prime had no reply to give him, he continued, lowering his voice into a seductive purr. ‘Truck-bot want clang-clang like me Grimlock. Let me Grimlock make clang-clang with you Truck-bot, and then me Grimlock promise to take you Truck-bot back to boat-thingy. It good deal, yes?’”

3:50 am
Fandom: Bandom (Panic! at the Disco)
"Brednon Urine waz gettin redy 2 go 2 bed nd Sara Urine wive ov Brednon Urine ov Picnic On Tha Dickso hoped ovr 2 tha bed leepin on 2 Brednon nd straring hime in tha fac
' Heyy Breadbin bby!!' Sraa yeled Brednon luked at hur fac nd piked hur up nd through hur on tha bed nd hur head smaked tha pillo
'i wanta doo butsekcs' Brednon screached liek his fav caracter Shruk and puled al his pantz down nd his big dik floped on 2 Sarand smaked hur in hur ugli fac nd it screached 2
' !!!' Sara screached 
' cuntroll ur dik bby' she siad macking sothing noizes 2 tha dick nd tha dick hizzed at hur liek a snaak
' uh o bredabin i dnt thik ur dik liks me’ Brednon smaked his dik acros tha fac nd it staped hizzing at Saruh so sara smilled an thru breddin dwon arund nd gapsed'”

Fandom: Bandom (Panic! at the Disco)

"Brednon Urine waz gettin redy 2 go 2 bed nd Sara Urine wive ov Brednon Urine ov Picnic On Tha Dickso hoped ovr 2 tha bed leepin on 2 Brednon nd straring hime in tha fac

' Heyy Breadbin bby!!' Sraa yeled Brednon luked at hur fac nd piked hur up nd through hur on tha bed nd hur head smaked tha pillo

'i wanta doo butsekcs' Brednon screached liek his fav caracter Shruk and puled al his pantz down nd his big dik floped on 2 Sarand smaked hur in hur ugli fac nd it screached 2

' !!!' Sara screached 

' cuntroll ur dik bby' she siad macking sothing noizes 2 tha dick nd tha dick hizzed at hur liek a snaak

' uh o bredabin i dnt thik ur dik liks me’ Brednon smaked his dik acros tha fac nd it staped hizzing at Saruh so sara smilled an thru breddin dwon arund nd gapsed'”

September 27, 2014 7:10 pm
Fandom: Hetalia
“‘WHAT IN BLOODY HELL ARE YOU DOING, YOU WANKER?!?!’ He didn’t reply.   He takes his manhood and puts it in the place you expect it to go. And that night, England didn’t regret anything.”

Fandom: Hetalia

“‘WHAT IN BLOODY HELL ARE YOU DOING, YOU WANKER?!?!’ He didn’t reply. 
  He takes his manhood and puts it in the place you expect it to go. And that night, England didn’t regret anything.”

3:20 pm
Fandom: Hetalia
“‘How did you get into my house?’
'I picked the lock. It's not rocket science.'
'You picked all 3 of the locks and a chain latch?'
Lovino nodded.
The German’s brow furrowed. ‘Why.’
'Because we're going shopping.'”

Fandom: Hetalia

“‘How did you get into my house?’

'I picked the lock. It's not rocket science.'

'You picked all 3 of the locks and a chain latch?'

Lovino nodded.

The German’s brow furrowed. ‘Why.’

'Because we're going shopping.'”

11:30 am
Fandom: Call of Duty
"somewere in ifghanstan they was a new terrosim group called the “wite sand’ and they was kill without marcy and was evil and gaved nucleor wepons to all the worst guys from entire history like hitler and osama bin ladin and kastro. they had 200 evil guys working for theym also a bunch of other guys also. They took money frum the bank of ifgasthan and kille CHILDS because children waste money in there."

Fandom: Call of Duty

"somewere in ifghanstan they was a new terrosim group called the “wite sand’ and they was kill without marcy and was evil and gaved nucleor wepons to all the worst guys from entire history like hitler and osama bin ladin and kastro. they had 200 evil guys working for theym also a bunch of other guys also. They took money frum the bank of ifgasthan and kille CHILDS because children waste money in there."

7:40 am
Fandom: Attack on Titan/Free!
“‘Maneuvering through the air in three dimensions is almost like swimming through the buildings,’ responded Haruka with a straight face. It was not quite the mass flooding he had always wished for, but it was close enough.
Shardis could not even begin to fathom how to explain the ways in which using the three-dimensional gear while being half-naked was extremely hazardous.
'Son, if you value your nipples, either put your clothes back on or go back to your lodgings.'”

Fandom: Attack on Titan/Free!

“‘Maneuvering through the air in three dimensions is almost like swimming through the buildings,’ responded Haruka with a straight face. It was not quite the mass flooding he had always wished for, but it was close enough.

Shardis could not even begin to fathom how to explain the ways in which using the three-dimensional gear while being half-naked was extremely hazardous.

'Son, if you value your nipples, either put your clothes back on or go back to your lodgings.'”

3:50 am
Fandom: Steven Universe
“‘Are we developing a fad of eating Steven for his own good or is this a human thing he’s told you about?’
Pearl shifted uncomfortably. ‘It… seemed a good idea at the time?’”

Fandom: Steven Universe

“‘Are we developing a fad of eating Steven for his own good or is this a human thing he’s told you about?’

Pearl shifted uncomfortably. ‘It… seemed a good idea at the time?’”